Healing Self Sabotage In Your Relationships
Self-sabotage robs us of our ability to connect and live in our highest purpose.
A pattern I've been personally navigating is healing self-sabotage. It's intriguing to observe how it shows up in our relationships.
In my healthy relationship of 2.5 years, sometimes conflict will come up and my brain's first urge is to flee. It feels scary for me to experience conflict and I often feel the primal urge to run away or sever ties. ✂️🪢
In the past, severing ties has worked profoundly for my highest good when it's my intuition speaking, not my ego. I've saved myself from a lot of drama, chaos, and people who don't want to change (or eventually I get tired of the BS and just leave). 🤷🏻♀️
With my healthy partnership, it's different. This is the only partnership I've had that aligns with me, teaches me, and challenges me to grow. This has been the only partnership where I'm not the one teaching them about healing, emotional intelligence, and spirituality, but I'm actively being taught and challenged to grow. 👩🏻🤝👨🏽💞
The difference between my intuition and my mind speaking when it comes to this urge is that one comes from my mind (ego) and one comes from my body (intuition). 🧘🏻♀️
This is the difference between boundaries and self-sabotage.
Imagine having a relationship that's blooming beautifully—a partnership brimming with love and understanding, or a friendship that feels as nourishing as sunlight. 🌞
Then, quite unexpectedly, you feel an overpowering urge to flee, to stir up chaos, and to push the very person you cherish away.
It's as if a part of you, unknown to your conscious mind, doesn't believe that you're deserving of such love. But let me tell you—you absolutely are. 💖
It's perplexing when the very opportunity or connection you've longed for arrives at your doorstep, only to find you pushing it away. But why?🤔
When I finally tuned into this part of myself and gave it a voice, it felt as if chains had been broken off my soul. Self-sabotage and its impacts in our relationships is rarely discussed in detail. However, naming this pattern, and identifying it, led me on a journey of profound healing. ✨
I often share with my holistic coaching clients that the simple act of bringing awareness to their unconscious patterns is the first, crucial step towards liberation from them. 💭
Self-sabotage can look like this:
Feeling unworthy or undeserving: You might feel compelled to run away or push away a cherished connection when things seem 'too good to be true'. 🏃🏻♀️
Letting avoidant tendencies and fears control you: You might know you have a healthy relationship or friendship, but the moment conflict comes up, you feel your avoidant tendencies surface. This makes you feel like you need to run away, escape, sever the bond, or break up with them. ✂️
Blocking Your Blessings: Opportunities of a lifetime may present themselves to you, only for you to begin sabotaging them almost instinctively. ❤️🔥
Creating conflict within stable relationships: You might disrupt a perfectly serene friendship or relationship, not because there's a genuine issue, but because you're not used to peace, or you believe you don't deserve it. ☹️
Purposefully sabotaging your connections: You may ruin your connections because you feel undeserving of them or a part of you still identifies with your pain body (trauma) and feels scared to welcome in the intimacy. 😶🌫️
Self-doubt and overthinking every situation: You prevent yourself from showing up as your authentic self or it prevents you from connecting with others and taking positive action. 😔
Avoiding vulnerability and intimacy: You might avoid vulnerability and intimacy because you fear opening up as a defense mechanism. This keeps you closed off and others feel like they can't genuinely connect with you. 💔
Refusing to grow or change: You might resist the urge to take accountability when someone mentions you hurt their feelings. 😤
Not communicating your needs: If you're not communicating what you need or desire from others, then others won't know what you need. People aren't mind readers, not even psychics always have telepathy! 🧙🏻♀️
Trying to control others to protect yourself: You might try to save or “fix” people as a way of controlling them instead of letting them be or perhaps you are excessively critical of others and focus on their flaws, instead of focusing on their virtues. People are sure to flock far away from you. Nobody can live up to those high expectations. 😓
In understanding self-sabotage, we've laid the groundwork to take proactive steps in breaking free from these damaging patterns. And it's a journey you don't have to take alone. 🫂
A New Path To Healing:
✨ The Portal To Your Heart ✨
If your heart is calling you to delve deeper into self-discovery, to heal self-sabotage, and to foster nurturing relationships, I warmly welcome you to join the waitlist for my upcoming 12 month holistic coaching container - ✨ The Portal To Your Heart. ✨
This is a commitment for those who are ready to open up their hearts to themselves and others, for those who are ready to understand the energetics of their heart so that they can attract all of their desires. Living in our heart is key to liberation. 💖
The portal to your heart is a gentle, caring journey back to your heart's essence. It's not about seeking perfection or 'fixing' yourself—it's about cherishing all that you are and aligning with your heart to experience life in its beautiful fullness. 💫
In this nurturing space, we will explore the physical and spiritual realms of the heart together, shedding light on any barriers that prevent us from living authentically and understanding how to lovingly release them. 💌
We will learn to ground into our heart center, foster self-trust, set and respect boundaries, and utilize our heart as a profound portal for manifestation. Incorporating somatic practices and meditations, we will invite our nervous system to relax and reboot. 🧘🏻♀️
If your spirit yearns for deep healing and transformation, this journey is lovingly crafted for you. The Portal To Your Heart is a gentle return to your core, a supportive anchor into your heart so you can stride forward with less stress, reduced anxiety, and a cherished collection of self-healing tools and wisdom. 🌟
In this process, always remember that healing is a journey that unfolds in its own time, and that's perfectly okay. This container is a compassionate sanctuary to facilitate your healing, at your own pace. 🌿
By joining the waitlist, you'll get an exclusive first opportunity to enroll in this life-transforming program and you'll get first access to exclusive goodies when TPTYH opens up! 🌸😌